Real Deal: Advice 4 Tweens & Moms



Dear Real Deal,

Alright so all of a sudden all of my friends have girlfriends- if you can even have a real girlfriend at the age of twelve- and I’m just wondering WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON?! I mean everyone, not just my friends, seems to have gotten together with someone… that is everyone except me. And I’m beginning to wonder if there is some sort of desirable trait that girls go for that I just don’t posses. And as you can imagine I’m like filled with self-doubt, my self-esteem has hit an all time low and… well I just have no idea what to do! Please help me!

Signed,
Dating Dude? 

~*~ Vanessa’s Take~*~
Dear Dating Dude?,
First of all I know exactly how you feel from past experience and can I just say your self-esteem doesn’t need to drop because really, like you said in the beginning of your entry you can not really have a real boyfriend/girlfriend at age twelve. You really can not. Also this whole "dating" thing is just a fad to guys as well as girls- just like the latest fashion trends- and the people who do it probably just do it to because it makes them feel older and more mature… when really you’re the one who is mature for not doing it.

-Vanessa <3

Dr. A’s POV :)

Well, yeah, it’s possible to have a girlfriend at age twelve.  I’m not saying it’s a good idea.  But love doesn’t discriminate according to age.  Love just happens, even at awkward or inconvenient times.  The thing you are describing sounds more like peer pressure; not real, abiding mutual affection between two people (aka Love).  Your friends are probably "playing at" having a girlfriend, not uncommon for kids to do at your age but not to be taken too seriously.  I’m sorry it hurts you so much not to be doing what all your friends are doing and that your self-esteem is suffering.  Your time will come.  I’ll bet that even in the time it took for me to write this response there have been break ups and a re-shuffling of couples.  Meanwhile, consider getting people together, boys and girls, to go the movies, bowling, hang out at your house with pizza and Guitar Hero…  Let people get to know the genuine, relaxed you.  Girls love that!

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