The Real Deal: Advice 4 Moms & Tweens



Dear Real Deal,

I love the arts, and I hate sports. It’s that simple. I mean, I would try out for the school Track, Football, or Soccer team… if I liked it, but I don’t. Thing is, in my school there is a price for being a guy and not sticking to what guys do, and it’s called humiliation. Like, I said I love the arts, which means I’ve been in numerous school plays, including musicals, which sort of requires you to dance and sing!  Plus, I have to wear makeup on stage! Yeah, not the best strategy when trying to avoid teasing and cruelty from your so-called “peers”.  As if the teasing wasn’t bad enough, they call me names… like gay and homo.  And I mean, that is not only disrespectful to me, but to homosexuals all over. So please, could you help me find a way to:
A) get these guys off my back so I can just be in a production without cringing whenever I think of the next day at school, and
B) find a way so that if these guys call me gay again I can prove them wrong without sounding inconsiderate towards actual homosexuals?
Please help!

                Yours Artistically,
                 Drama King

~*~ Vanessa’s Take ~*~

Dear Drama King,

Wow. I can’t really say that this is something I have dealt with personally, but I’m sure that you are not the only one who has. The simple and obvious truth is:  These people are jerks!  It is not an understatement or a suggestion it’s cold hard fact. You know how I know?  Because of the way they’re acting.  People who think they are cool will act in a manner they think is cool, i.e. a fashion that people find humorous or feel forced to find amusing, and if people laugh, enforcing that behavior it’s not going to change anytime soon. I’ve had a slim experience with people like this.  My friend and I were laughing and a boy who thought he was All-That walked by and said, “Aw look at the lesbians.”  You know what we did?  We just looked at each other and simply said “What!” and that was all that was spoken of it. And you know what? I don’t want to sound like that old broken record that your teachers use to explain Peer Pressure, but I’m about to… just a warning: These people are probably jealous. Want to know why? Because you’re doing something different, because you’re not following the crowd. So really my advice is to stick to what you’re doing and if these guys act like idiots again just ignore it.  As for making them stop the homosexual remarks, simply tell them what you think: It is disrespectful to yourself as well as real homosexuals all together. Hope this helped!

Theatrically Yours,
Vanessa <3

Dr. A's POV :-)

Isn't it amazing that as evolved as our society is we still have pockets of stupidity and ignorance?  The bad news is that you as an individual can't do much to control what others say or do.  These boys are abusive bullies and shouldn't be tolerated by anyone.  The good news is you sound quite determined to stay true to your love of theater and therefore true to yourself despite those numskulls (an old fashioned term for 'morons'.)    My best advice to you is to assert yourself firmly but safely.  Ignoring them isn't a bad idea but the truth is bullies don't expect their victims to defend themselves effectively.  Check out this web site for some good guidelines for dealing with bullies.  Continue to feel good about yourself; be proud of your intelligence and your talent and enjoy it.  Bullies cower before happiness.  As for B)  Vanessa's advice is excellent.  The truth is a powerful sword.  And in the meantime you might find the Shakespearean Insult Kit useful!

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