Mike Wallace & Depression

Mike Wallace always seemed really old. His face was craggy, his voice rough and deep. He was on 60 Minutes, a news magazine show that seemed to be an old person magnet. Sadly in our culture it’s easy to dismiss old people as not relevant. It wasn’t hard for me to forget what a pioneer Wallace was, and not just in journalism.

Upon his death at 93 years old, I read a few articles about Mr. Wallace.

At his lowest and most desperate, a bottle of pills and a suicide note seemed like the only answer for the legendary journalist Mike Wallace.

Whoa! That got my attention. Mike Wallace was not known for being warm and cuddly, weak-willed or a pushover. His reputation was made for yanking people in power under a glaring light; holding them to accountability. He asked the uncomfortable questions most of us were thinking but were too intimidated to ask. I did not know he ever experienced the dark desperation of major depression.

Celebrate National School Counseling Week!

National School Counseling Week 2012 will be celebrated from February 6-10 to focus public attention on the unique contribution of professional school counselors within U.S. school systems. National School Counseling Week, sponsored by the American School Counselor Association, highlights the tremendous impact school counselors can have in helping students achieve school success and plan for a career.

via www.schoolcounselor.org

The school counselors of my kids’ school district are awesome. My husband and I have gone to them several times for help and they have always stepped up.

The first time was when my son was in second grade. At the time my mother and father had moved into our home while she received palliative care for pancreatic cancer. My house was Grand Central Station as my brothers and sisters rotated through from their homes in other parts of the country. We thought my son was doing great handling all the chaos at home. Little did we know his frustration was just going underground. When his teacher expressed concern, I made a bee line to his school counselor. Right away I knew my son was in good hands. Together with the school psychologist, she was able to give him the opportunity to process his anger through play therapy.

Investing in Therapy

“I have [a] good friend who borrowed against his house to pay for a therapist. Unless you were walking in his shoes you might think that was stupid, but it saved his life and changed his career. It ended up being one of the best investments he ever made.”

~Carl Richards, Author of “The Behavior Gap:

Simple Ways to Stop Doing Dumb Things With Money,”

Happiness vs Pleasure

 Editor’s Note: This article was written by Dylan Broggio, LCSW, EWN therapist.

Courtesy of jellywatson via Flickr

In revisiting a favorite book of mine, “The Art of Happiness: A Handbook for Living” , I am rediscovering  a theme that is interwoven in so many aspects of our lives… the idea of pleasure versus happiness.

The Dalai Lama says our main purpose in life is to seek happiness.  Though pleasure and happiness are clearly separate, it appears we can get these two confused from time to time. The idea of pleasure in our lives is fairly easy to conjure up;  the embrace of a loved one, a sunny Saturday afternoon, a beach vacation, a bowl of ice cream, the thrill of buying a new car or house, sex, getting a promotion!  The idea of happiness in our lives… a little more complicated… Love, affection, closeness, compassion, and gratitude.

Pleasure comes from external stimuli, things outside of us, that are short lived. The Dalai Lama states, “Happiness that depends mainly on physical pleasure is unstable, one day it’s there, the next day it may not be”.  Whereas true happiness comes from an internal source, and it remains constant despite the ups and downs of daily life.

Most of us do not always choose what is “good” for us- that is, what leads us toward happiness. Instead we decide to indulge in those short lived pleasures of life, expecting long term happiness.

Looking for a Good Therapist? Call Dylan Broggio, LCSW

Do you have a child you are worried about but don’t know how to help her? Are you a young adult overwhelmed with the sudden pressure of grown up responsibilities? Maybe you’re in a relationship that doesn’t feel right but you wonder if you should give up and settle?

It is hard to find good therapist. You don’t have a lot of time to ‘shop around.’ And when it comes to your vulnerable self-esteem, or the well-being of your child and family, the importance of finding just the right person to work with is especially important.

If you haven’t met her yet I am very proud to introduce you to Dylan Broggio, LCSW! Dylan came to Explore What’s Next with over ten years of experience helping kids, teens, adults and families cope with stressful events in their lives that provoke anxiety and depression.

Dylan is approachable and smart. She brings an enthusiastic energy to her practice. Her clients appreciate her great sense of humor, genuine understanding and empathy.

For your convenience, Dylan has open hours in the evenings, after five, and on Saturdays. This will be especially helpful for students during the school year or individuals and families in need of greater scheduling flexibility. Dylan is adept at using Skype for long distance consultation as well.

Among the many things I admire about Dylan is her genuine love of this work while keeping high professional standards. Dylan truly lives up to the requisites of an Explore What’s Next therapist: Qualified, kind and easy to talk to.

Dylan is taking new clients now and offers a free initial 30 minute consultation!

Contact Dylan directly at 734.474.6987 or email her at explorewhatsnext@gmail.com.

Do Not Use Your Bed for Anything but Sleep & Sex!

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If you have trouble sleeping, and who doesn’t from time to time, you may have heard of sleep hygiene. Sleep hygiene is a fancy schmancy term for good sleep habits. To encourage our bodies to relax into a good night’s sleep we should turn the lights down low, have a little routine we do every night before bed, get up and go to bed at the same time everyday and DO NOT USE YOUR BED FOR ANYTHING EXCEPT SLEEPING AND SEX.

That means no laptops or smarty-pants phones, no eating, absolutely no television watching, no playing tug of war with your dog or chase the laser pointer with your cat, on your bed! When I tell people this they look at me like ‘You’ve got to be kidding. That is never going to happen.’ So I just ask that they try to limit the extra curricular bed activities because you want your body to see your bed and think ‘sleepy time -zzzzz!’ not ‘time for Craig Ferguson, whoopee!’

Meanwhile I break my own rule by reading in bed. I turn the lights low, I have my bedtime ritual and I go to bed, usually, around the same time, yes even on weekends. My sleep hygiene rocks! Except that…

For World Mental Health Day: Is Mental Illness A First World Problem?

Today is World Mental Health Day and Psych Central is having a party to celebrate! Instead of bringing a plate to pass around, participants are posting articles for the event. Not one to miss out on a good party, here is my contribution:

It is easy to dismiss treatment for mental health problems as a luxury. Even in my typically American middle-class community in Western New York, people have to make hard decisions about what gets attention. Will it be renovations to an aging house, tuition for college or psychotherapy?

There is a tendency to put our mental health struggles on the back burner with the hope that things will get better by themselves. When they don’t, even educated, so-called sophisticated people take it as a personal failure. That causes us even more pain, more isolation, deeper mental illness.

Take that scenario and make it global, across cultures, across socio-economic strata, across level of industrial development. The same issues that prevent my neighbor (or me for that matter) from getting mental health treatment may be what keeps a young man in Sri Lanka from seeking help.

Mental illness is not just a first world problem. The Secretary General of the United Nations wrote:

7 Classic Self-Help Books That Actually Help

Here are some of the books that I regularly recommend…

Feeling Good, The New Mood Therapy, by David Burns. The best book out there on what cognitive behavioral therapy is, how it works and how to use it to improve self-esteem and your mood.

The Verbally Abusive Relationship, by Patricia Evans. How to recognize verbal abuse (you might be surprised) and how to respond in a non-defensive, self-respectful manner.

Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay, by Mira Kirshenbaum. A clear step-by-step guide to help decide whether to stay in or get out of your relationship.

Controlling People, also by Patricia Evans. How to recognize, understand, and deal with people who try to control you. It’s not about assigning blame, it’s about taking responsibility.

Codependent No More, by Melodie Beattie. How to stop controlling others and start caring for yourself.

Stop Walking On Eggshells, by Paul Mason & Randi Kreger. Taking your life back when someone you care about has Borderline Personality Disorder.

Getting the Love You Want, by Harville Hendrix. A guide for couples to understand why we choose the people we marry and, if you are ready to work at it, how to build a “passionate friendship.”

Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff, (and it’s all small stuff), by Richard Carlson. A classic little book with a big message.

Do you have a favorite? If it’s not here please share in the comments section!

Photo courtesy of Yuikei L via Flickr

The ABCs of SAD – Seasonal Affective Disorder

Courtesy Sofia Francesca Photography

Around this time of year I begin to hear from people who have trouble with what we call Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD).

“I always have trouble this time of year. It’s the season. I can’t take it.”

What distinguishes SAD from regular run-of-the-mill depression is the time of onset, between September and October, when the days become significantly shorter in certain latitudes and the severity of symptoms. The further away from the equator you live, the less sun there is in the winter. Behavioral scientists believe there is a change in brain chemistry in people susceptible to SAD. Something about how serotonin is processed messes up sleep cycles and mood.

Symptoms are:

~ Feeling sad, grumpy, moody, or anxious.
~ Losing interest in your usual activities.
~ Eating more and craving carbohydrates, such as bread and pasta.
~ Gaining weight.
~ Sleeping more and feel drowsy during the daytime.

People with SAD report feeling relief from symptoms around April or May, as the days’ sunlight increases.

Some of us just have the blahs around this time of year, not really bad SAD but still not good. Dr. Goldstein, who writes the Mildfulness and Psychotherapy blog suggests 5 Keys to Preparing for Fall and Winter Blues.

1. Mindfulness training 

2. Exercise

3. Light therapy

4. Gratitude list

5. Connecting with friends and family

How is more serious SAD treated?  Best practices for the treatment of SAD includes:

~ Bright light treatment. For this treatment, you sit in front of a “light box” for half an hour or longer, usually in the morning. Light therapy works well for most people with SAD, and it is easy to use. You may start to feel better within a week or so after you start light therapy. But you need to stick with it and use it every day until the season changes. If you don’t, your depression could come back.
~ Dawn simulation. For this treatment, a dim light goes on in the morning while you sleep, and it gets brighter over time, like a sunrise.
~ Antidepressants. These medicines can improve the balance of brain chemicals that affect mood. Consult with a board certified psychiatrist.
~ Counseling. Some types of counseling, such as cognitive-behavioral therapy, can help you learn more about SAD and how to manage your symptoms.

To learn more about SAD read:

WebMD on SAD

About the Winter Blues

Research Updates: Seasonal Affective Disorder Treatments

10 Ways to Find a Good Therapist

When we want to improve our bodies we pretty much know where to find help. This time of year the gyms are full and the meeting rooms at Weight Watchers are packed. But what do we do when we want to improve our inner selves, our relationships, to find help with depression or anxiety?

I want to assist you to find the right therapist because making the decision to find help is hard enough. Why should you have to get even more stressed out hunting for the right therapist? I can only imagine it’s like searching for a needle in a haystack. So here are a few tips:

1) Forget the yellow pages. A yellow pages listing is expensive so a lot of good people aren’t there. I’m not. Plus there is no regulation of who can list.

2) Ask a professional you already work with and trust. Your accountant, lawyer, dentist, physician – any professional you have a relationship with who honors your confidentiality is a good resource. These people all run businesses as well as provide services, as do many psychotherapists in private practice. They are well connected in the community and refer to each other all the time.

By the way, when asking anyone for a referral to a mental health therapist you do not have to go into the details of why you’re looking for a someone unless you want to. It’s enough just to say, “I’m having some problems and I’d like to consult a therapist about it. Do you recommend anyone?”

3) Ask friends or family members if they can recommend someone.

4) Use a known therapist as a resource. If you have a friend or a friend’s friend who’s a therapist, ask them. Therapists refer to one another all the time. They will understand that you don’t want to see them (for whatever reason, you don’t have to say) but you want a recommendation from them. In other words, even if it doesn’t feel right going to your sister’s therapist, if your sister really likes her therapist he or she could probably give you a couple of names of good, qualified therapists in the community.

5) Use resources at work. Many places of employment have what’s called an Employee Assistance Program (EAP). These services might be in-house or out-sourced but the purpose of EAPs is to provide emotional support and counseling for employees in complete privacy and as part of the employee’s benefit package. EAPs are often part of the Human Resource department so ask there if your company has an EAP and how to access it. Usually you would see a counselor at the EAP for a set number of sessions (no charge to you) and if you want to continue they will refer to a therapist in the community who will take your insurance.

6) Schools and Universities are resources. Your child’s school is likely to have a school counselor or nurse and that person knows therapists in your district to refer you or your child to, if that is what’s needed. Universities and colleges are investing more and more in their campus mental health services. Counseling Centers (often part of Health Services under the Student Affairs department) on campus have qualified psychologists and social workers on stand-by to help with a wide range of situations for current students. Like EAPs, if you need longer term services beyond what they can provide they will see to it that you are linked properly for your continuity of care. As an alum you should be able to access the counseling center as a resource for a referral.

7) Use your insurance company. You may be lucky and have an insurance company with a truly helpful customer service department. If they do their job right, they should be able to suggest therapists who participate on their panel (which means they have been vetted from here to eternity for all the right credentials) and who specialize in what you need.

Use the Internet. The difference between the web and the yellow pages is that, for the therapist, listing on reliable websites is not nearly as expensive AND reliable sites require a minimum of professional qualifications to be listed. Psychology Today probably has the most comprehensive listing in the US. They contract with other trustworthy sites like WebMD and iVillage to provide their list to them. A therapist can’t be listed on PT unless they can prove they have a legitimate advanced degree in their discipline and an up to date professional license or certification.

A good listing on PT provides you with information regarding the professional’s qualifications, what areas of expertise they may have, how long they’ve been in practice. They should also have practical stuff posted like phone numbers, where their office is located, office hours and whether or not they accept your insurance if that is important to you. Here’s my listing as an example.

Do not look for a therapist on craigslist!

9) Do a Google search. Once you have a few names go ahead and google them. If they have a blog or a website, explore them. Often you can get a sense of who they are by what they write or what is written about them. Just keep in mind that many good, well-qualified therapists are not on the web. Not finding them there is not a reason to rule them out.

10) Don’t limit yourself. Don’t set limits on yourself unnecessarily by title or by logistics. I refer to as many social workers as I do psychologists. Marriage and Family Therapists (MFT’s) are new to New York but in California, where they’ve been on the scene for some time, I know several who are excellent counselors. Studies show that once core requirements are met, the effectiveness of a therapist is not dictated by what advanced degree they have.

Skype and telephone. If you live in an area where, as hard as you’ve tried, you can’t find a professional locally to help you, you can always turn to tele-sessions using the telephone or Skype. While Skype counseling is a specialized service on the cutting edge, there are therapists world-wide providing on-line counseling. Skype sessions are available to anyone anywhere as long as the technology is available and a common language is spoken. This service has been a particular boon to Americans over-seas who crave counseling from a familiar voice stateside. I provide Skype sessions to people around the world and find it very rewarding work.

One last thought in your search for a therapist: Try to gather at least two or three names from any given source. That way you can cross-reference, and have choices if one doesn’t work out, moved out of town, retired or one just doesn’t suit you. You have a right, even a responsibility to yourself, to be picky.

Do you have more ideas that would be helpful to people looking for a therapist? Please let us know!

Related articles:

Looking For a Good Therapist: First Contact

9 Qualities to Look for in a Good Therapist

Photo courtesy of Whatnot via Flickr